Day Fourteen - Comedy on a Plane

// August 10th - Cancún - México City - Los Angeles - Phoenix // 

Karla drove me to the airport at 7 am this morning - another 17 hours of traveling ahead of me. Cheap  flight tickets tend to have two layovers before you actually take the plane you need. It's exhausting, but then again - I'm seeing so many places around the world, I really don't complain!

After all it was very entertaining. On the flight from México City to Los Angeles I was sitting next to a couple. While I watched the inspiring and touching movie "Wild", about a woman who's trying to find peace and the way back to her old self by hiking the Pacific Crest trail, my eyes accidentally wandered to the screen next to me for a second. It was long enough to see that the two guys were sexting each other, on the flight screen, while sitting next to each other. Well. That was funny, but it got way better. I wish I had twittered the whole thing.

So, this situation occurred on the last plane, from Los Angeles to Phoenix. It's the oldest and smallest plane that I've ever been on, an E170, which would have room for up to 80 passengers, but we were about 20 tops. So basically nobody was sitting next to someone. The boarding is completed.
In the row next to me a girl, maybe around 20, still talks loudly on her phone. Every two seconds she shoves a handful of chips in her mouth. Meanwhile, she's telling her "dude" that she just had a double shot (I guess she's 21 then) at the airport and is already boozed. Chips.
I take out my phone to make notes.

She found out that her ex-boyfriend is sleeping with her ex-girlfriend. Chips.

Ah, apparently the "dude" and her are going to Vegas. Chips. Or maybe to the coast, not decided yet. Chips.

She needs another drink. Chips.

The air condition of this old plane starts leaking on me. Awesome.

I'm wondering wether the "dude" is a guy or just another girl as tough as her. But then again - she'd probably call her "bitch" in that case though.
I'm trying so hard not to laugh.

Oh, she's got another guy already. He didn't make a move on her yet, but she really wants to sleep with him. Chips. Drop from the air condition.

No, dude, she's leaving to Europe next month (please let me be on the same plane!), so she can only afford to buy cheap alcohol. She's almost done with that big bag of chips.
This is hilarious.

"We're closing that door soon, so please end your call" - Stewardess is not amused.
"Uh-hu" - Girl is not impressed. Chips. Drop.

She put her mum on that restricted list on Facebook so she can't see all the drunk party pictures. Chips.

Dude is talking. Drop. Chips.

"We can open the door again, so you can talk outside, but we have to leave. You have to be off the phone." - Stewardess is getting a little mad. Drop drop.
"Maybe if she asked nicely." - Girl is pissed. Chips.

"I did ask you politely." - Stewardess is grinding her teeth while smiling. Drop.
"No, I was just saying something to my friend." Chips.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about!" - I'm impressed by her patience and have a flash back to some of the rudest guests at Disney. When you still have to smile, while they complain that it's expensive and ask if you are included in the price. Woah. Ever heard of respect?

"Bitch." - Girls hates the stewardess. Stewardess and I hate the girl. I'm still glad I witness this though. Chips chips chips. Drop.

Girl crumples the bag. It's done. So am I.

I'm dying. Don't laugh out loud, don't... I'm sure she's so tough, she'd punch me and steal my pocket money for lunch.

Seeing that she's got an ally, the stewardess is chatty. She asks me if I'm cold, and when I said yes (with the AC leaking definitely) she replied that she wants to turn on the heat. Tough girl looks madly at me, then at the stewardess. Guy behind her has panic in his eyes. I said a blanket is fine.
She looks disappointed. "But I like it warm. It's always so cold. It was warm before and then someone turned it down." The guy offers me his sweater. Blanket is fine, thank you.
Americans and their ACs.

Ah, the city beneath us, covered in orange lights. We get snacks and she's really friendly to the guy and me, because we treat her with respect. Cold but polite fake smile towards the girl.

Over and out.

Oh, not quite yet. So, we landed. I was in the second last row. The engines stop. Suddenly I hear a loud, relieved sigh behind me. The stewardess.
I look towards her. Her lips form "I'm off! Finally!!". I love her.
There, there. I told her she'll be out of here soon.
Then she told me that last week the Delta systems crashed, they had to cancel many flights and were delayed for hours. She rests her hear tired in the little window over one of the headrests.

I think she needs a vacation.